Re: Good for you, but only for you

I think it was an erotic attraction that drew me to pedophilia in the first place

See, I can't speak for everyone here, but I don't feel that I was ever "drawn" into pedophilia. I've always had crushes on little girls. I distinctly remember admiring them while I was going through puberty myself, before I even thought about the sexual aspect of it like I do now. I just knew that I thought they were fun and bubbly and beautiful and I loved being around them.

OK, I have said that my experiences are unlikely to match most of the people here. I will accept that many have always had this attraction from early childhood onwards. For me I think, it did initially arise from an erotic interest. I had attractions to most girls of my age as I grew up and towards adult females as do most non-pedophiles. It was probably from reading accounts of children having sexual experiences that seeded my interest later in life.

I am finding now that because I am losing much of this sexual interest I am able not to feel the slightest guilt being around children, even if I have to hide some of my obvious admiration for them.

I don't think you should feel guilty for the sexual aspect of your attraction, and I don't think sexual desire is incompatible with wishing for them what they would wish for themselves. If child/adult sexual activity were legal and accepted, what I've heard from every pedophile that I've encountered is that they would be interested in sexuality on the girl's level. Girls are naturally curious and often flirtatious and like to play doctor and experiment. That's the kind of thing that I think most pedophiles would be interested in.

I can only tell you how I feel at the moment compared with not so long ago and there is a definite change. I do feel more free now, especially having lost most of the compulsion I had to focus on 'the child world'. The type of sexual interaction you describe might be what the pedophile would like but it may not be what the child necessarily would benefit from. There is a distinct possibility that early sexual experiences will tend to sexualise the child causing problems further down the line.

Moth