Hi Kevin,
first of all I'm happy to hear from you as I was wondering how things were with you lately;

I sent you the answers to the questionnaire by email, and I don't mind putting it here also.
I only deleted very few things from the original text sent to you for private reasons.

All the best,

Love2uall



1. Please write your age and gender (and also your country if you are not based in the United States).

Gender: male
Country: Canada


2. How long have you known you are sexually attracted to children?

I have always been sexually attracted to children, little girls. But the consciousness of it began around the age of 14.


3. Was there a decisive moment when you realised you were sexually attracted to children, or was it a more gradual slow realisation? What events affected your realisation?

I believe sex is part of life, I do not see why all of the sudden someone would stop being attracted to the beauty of the younger human's body and mind, sexuality is an expression of love, sensitivity, in other words I want to make the other one "feel good".
Although there can be a physical part playing a significient role, to me it is part of myself, it was always natural to be with younger people, I feel I bring them something in their lives, and in return they bring so much to me also. It's nothing pervert or anything, I do mean this as something "pure" somehow, no evilness hidden behind it.
I feel it was made to be like it is, and now having an idea of the number of people who have the same attraction as I have, it just can't be unnatural to me.
I think society is stuck in its own fictious world.
If you don't know what I'm taking about please study what is and how does the legal system work, and what is the government.
Just a little hint: from what I've learned the legal definition of the word "person" is not a real living being.
It's a commercial entity, and the entire governmental system relates to that entity.
So that's why I say people might be stuck in their own virtual view of what is reality.
I'm being lunatic?
Or maybe enlightened?... ;)


4. Who was the first person you told? When did this happen? How did they respond?

My father, and he was always supportive.


5. Are there many people you have told among your family and friends?

Well, I got arrested a few years ago for minor touching, nothing I imposed to the child, in fact the young girl (12) was responding positively, I didn't force her on anything, quite the contrary, and to my big surprise she even asked me to do something to me I would've never thought would be coming from her: she asked me to "suck my penis". However it didn't happen, her mother found out about us before it happens. (Deleted part about my family), as for friends, not many know, but the ones who do have not rejected me for what I know.


6. Who are the most significant people you would like to tell but haven’t?

Everyone. I feel living with a secret like this to be heavy and I have enough of living secretly. But with the current climate you can probably understand why.


7. Are there any books or other written material that have been important to you in thinking about your sexuality? (Please list the key ones)

The first book that I read which was about pedophilia was "Lolita". I can't say I particularly like that book as I do not feel it is somewhat representative of "us", or me at least.
Then I started to read some studies and articles on the www.ipce.info website, and discovered many things there.
Not that I wanted to do some "selective attention" like some say (to only "hear" or "take as being true" what suits us), I never agreed with what I would hear on TV, radio, newspapers etc... in general, as I felt it wasn't that for me inside.
I do not think what we see on TV etc... in general to be representative of "us", and far from it.


8. Are there any key individuals who have been important to you? (These might be individuals known personally to you, or role-models you know of)

After I got arrested I was forced to go through an horrible treatment, for which I recently got aware it was mental, psychological torture, pure and simple (see http://www.annabelleigh.net/messages/369123.htm), while during the same time I saw another sexologist, who had been through what I was going on also in the past, who was also sexually attracted to children, and he's the one who really helped me out as he made me become aware that in the current state of society, the current climate and all, sexuality with children, no matter if consentual or positive, not forced, coerced etc..., it is not a good idea to engage it with them since they can suffer from it afterwards, again because of the current climate and state of things, not necessarily because of sexuality itself.
Out of all the therapists I saw in my life, he was the one, not even registered in any sexologist or psycho-therapy groups, that I feel helped me the most.
However I still do believe things should change in the world regarding sexuality with children, I will not support the way it is right now, I think it may be the source of a lot, if not most of the hurt the children can go through, as much as the adults also in all of this.


9. Thinking about the whole of your time as a person sexually attracted to children, are there any web-sites which have been particularly important to you, positively or negatively?

www.ipce.info
www.annabelleigh.net (Girl Chat)


10. Please list the web-sites which are currently most important to you as a MAA.

www.ipce.info
www.annabelleigh.net


11. Thinking about these sites in particular, please describe what it is about these web-sites which are of most significance to you.

www.ipce.info for its studies and info

www.annabelleigh.net for seeing what could be "the real face of pedophilia", since it's the only place where we can say what we feel and think without being terrorized.


12. How often do you usually visit these sites? For example, more than once a day, daily, several times a week, at least once a week, several times a month, at least once a month, several times a year, once a year or less?

www.ipce.info, several times a year

www.annabelleigh.net, daily


13. Do you yourself ever contribute to these web-sites (eg articles, comments, photos, email discussion, blogs)? In what ways?

www.ipce.info, I have shared what I went though with the webmaster of this site (my arrestation, and particularly about the forced treatment I had to go through).

www.annabelleigh.net, messages through the "Love2uall" nick


14. If you do contribute, how often would this usually be? For example, more than once a day, daily, several times a week, at least once a week, several times a month, at least once a month, several times a year, once a year or less?

Sometimes daily, sometimes a few times a week, sometimes less.


15. Would you say that these web-sites have had an impact on how you think about yourself personally? For example, are these sites generally reassuring, irrelevant, welcoming, friendly, boring, supportive or disturbing for you?

They can be reassuring in the sense that I see I'm not alone in this;
They can be irrelevant sometimes when I don't agree or relate with what's written;
Girl chat can be friendly at times, but to me the most important thing is the work on the subject of pedophilia, so I don't stay at Girl Chat just because I would have "friends" there; (Added comment here: no offense to anyone here on GC ;) I mean that the main reason I come here is to work on the subject. But I surely appreciate the people here also.)
Supportive, if I express something I went through that was difficult, some people understand and can be supportive;
Disturbing, sometimes, if I feel disinformation or misundertandings are being spread.


16. In your opinion, would you say that these web-sites form an online MAA community? If so, in what ways?

Well, yes, and there's nothing wrong with it.
I feel phychologists and sexologists generally use the "selective attention" they say of us much more than we could, since they often refuse to hear "our side" of things.
They are completely closed on what we say, it's like if they have been conditioned.
"Us" on the other hand often are aware that horrors can or are happening, and incorporate that in what we're saying, and go beyond it, deeper into things, not to be pretentious, and sorry if I speak for many people here using the word "us".
I'm aware some might not agree to be in that "us", but it's what seems to predominate on Girl Chat and other forums from my observations.
Often I hear on TV for an example that we're very intelligent beings...
If so then, why aren't they listening to what we have to say ever?
...


17. If you feel there is an online MAA community, can you give specific examples of how this community has helped you personally?

Well, talking about things helps not to keep it inside and it becoming obsessive and more


18. In your own personal experience, which provides most support for you ? an online MAA community, or other forms of support? Please describe.

Let's clear something out here, I understand "we" need support, but I feel it's mostly because of the current climate on things, otherwise I feel we are not "sick" or anything, and that our attraction is perfectly natural, therefore with a proper system in place for "people like us" I don't think we would need as much support as it's being the case right now.
Now what would be a "proper system"?
Let the debate begin. ;)


19. Have these sites had an impact on how you think about your sexuality? For example, are these sites generally informative, thought-provoking, inspirational or challenging for you?

Informative on the events that are currently going on in the world, and other information pertaining to sexuality also;
Thought-provoking, of course, in many ways, but it hasn't changed my view yet on that I think we are not sick, and that sexuality with children is not only possible (in a proper context) but can also be a good thing for both partners;
Inspirational in ways of debating things, or activism (and the more oppression we will have, the more activism there will be possibly, unless "they" finally find the way to numb us all definitively, which wouldn't be surprising to me with what's currently going on);
Challenging, sometimes there are subjects that can arise, like vaginal penetration for an example, which can come challenge the views of some people, me included, but since there is very little information or studies made in that sense it is very hard to know or talk about that subject precisely, like at which age can it start etc..., and the fact that no one can talk about their sexual experiences without them having legally dealt with them before, it creates a gap of information, or becomes a great opportunity for disinformation to be spread out.


20. Have these sites had an impact on how you think about your politics? If so, in what ways?

Hmm... I didn't need these websites to think a certain way, like I said I always felt I wasn't what's generally being spread about us in the media or the general impression about us from the people


21. Would you describe yourself as politically active? For example, do you write letters or articles, lobby or make an effort to talk with people about the issue of sexual identity?

If the issue arises when I'm with someone alone I can talk about my opinions on this depending if I feel the person in front of me has the capacity and openness to engage in such a discussion.
Otherwise I have written to some organizations in the past about the subject.


22. Are there other significant ways in which these web-sites have had an impact on your life? If they all closed down tomorrow, would you miss them?

If they all closed down tommorrow, not only would I get incredibly angry (hoping I wouldn't do something stupid in the process) but I would possibly do some activism.
In fact I'm working on getting out of society right now, since I do not want to be part of something that won't give me a place in it and that doesn't fit me.
So far I have learned significant information for this to possibly happen eventually, where the government won't have authority on me anymore without it being a fraud (I'm starting to have a very good understanding of the game that is being played).
Everything is about contract, and right now it's a big unilateral contract between us and the government, the government being the one in charge of course (and a corporation by the way...)
It does this by finding all sorts of ways to silence us (fear, terrorism, guilt etc...) and then spread its own views about the subject which is the only views that can be seen by the population.
That's a crime in the pure sense of the word, and I do not support this.
So I do not want to be part of something of the sort anymore in any kind of way.


23. Is there anything that particularly concerns you about these web-sites at this time?

The laws have become so insane lately to my opinion that I wouldn't be surprised if they found a way to close these websites down in a not too far future.


24. If you had one piece of advice to give to someone who was wondering about their sexual attraction to children, what would it be?

Accept it, I don't think you are sick.
If you feel however the events around you or anything makes it so it becomes obsessive, we can talk about it if you want.
If you don't feel what's being spread about pedophilia in the media to be representative of who you are, do what you can to change things, not your attraction, as I don't think it can change, and I've been there before.