Your subject lines are neat, and created just for me!
And, WOW such a long post. Did the mods read EVERY word??

Now let's look at fear. As I said, fear is in many ways love's opposite. It places too many expectations on people. For example, the pain caused by infidelity is based on a fear of rejection. The expectation of sex in a relationship is based on a fear that one will not get their need for intimacy met, etc., etc. So the problem with most relationships is that fear rules the dynamic rather than love.

Sigh. Why is it that at any one time in a relationship, one person feels more secure than the other? And then at other times the roles are reversed.. I agree that expectations cause a lot of problems, causing jealousy and insecurity etc. Expect something, and you are sure to be dissapointed, but if you just trust someone, they are likely to exceed anything you ever imagined (in a good way that is).

Now, imagine a culture where people WEREN'T labelled or expected to fulfill cultural roles (roles like husband, wife, or twisted sicko.) This isn't to say there will be no husbands, wives or twisted sickos, but it will mean that these roles are not culturally defined and so it will be far easier to become what is desirable to you.

I agree with this. As soon as people enter into marriage, things seem to deteriorate don't they?
People percieve they have new obligations, new limitations, when all that is changed, is signing a piece of paper. I can imagine that it would be easier for me to have children with someone who i wasn't married to, than someone i was, simply because it feels like more they choose to be involved, rather than obliged. It is is easy to perceive such people as being resentful when it may not be the case.

e are looking at "chaos" from the human perspective of order as we define it, but what is chaos if not a state of counter-balance for all the order that originates in the universe? So, human-defined "chaos" and "order" are, in themselves, perfectly balanced, if you look at the big picture.

Well, i still prefer to see it from the point of view of chaos, not balance, though i do concede that they are interconnected! And from the point of view of evolution, it's driven by random, chaotic changes isn't it? If the ultimate endpoint of nature is balance, evolution would cease. And you seem to see it from a religious point of view, that man is the focal point of all this, and so long as he CONTROLS nature to the point where what he does to it is sustainable, then things will stay in balance. I worry though that the earth is too damaged to return to any state of balance, so that people can enjoy nature instead of being against it. Sure things adapt to what we have done to the planet, but will we get to the point where we can't even live here??

In essence, our culture is like a huge dysfunctional family--it infantilizes its members and keeps them afraid of Big Bad Daddy. But really, deep down, Big Bad Daddy is just as afraid of his children as they are of him--he fears rejection, disobedience, abandonment. Our culture (and most cultures) are governed by fear rather than love. This is cyclical--it starts with the way children are raised, and those children bring it with them when they get into positions of power, then give it right back to the citizens, who raise their children yet again the same way.

Well i agree with most of this, although the way people raise their kids changes from generation to generation. It's quite scary how kids are being bought up today, compared to when i was brought up. Kids are more outspoken, are better at standing up for their rights, have more freedom, yet are they better off for it? They often have no respect for other people, and they don't know what to do with their freedom, roaming the streets, taking drugs etc. It's not their fault though! But the same basic limitations are still placed on them, and laws to protect their innocence. Hmm what other dubious laws are their to protect EMOTIONS?! How silly is that. How do we know wthat all kids feel the same way, and can all be protected from 'bad' emotions by a simple law?

i learn alot by thinking aloud like this. No need to over do it though, i'm sure you have lots of other stuff to do as well :-) Plus there's a pinched nerve somewhere hurting my arm as i type ;-(
^m^