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Re: A Lesson for Ethan: The Male Gaze

Posted by EthanEdwards on Wednesday, October 22 2014 at 4:05:41PM
In reply to Re: A Lesson for Ethan: The Male Gaze posted by Dante on Wednesday, October 22 2014 at 07:36:59AM

The situations are quite different.

Grown women do in fact know that men will look at them, and most become used to it. If they say to some impartial acquaintance, "I caught him glancing at my rear end and my chest, isn't that awful?" they will NOT agree that it's truly awful.

Its a fact of life that all men look and only a small number "leer;" where "leer" is the term for getting caught looking.

This is wrong. A leer is noticeably different from being caught looking with a neutral facial expression.

In contrast here we have sadlife's description (sorry to bring it up again, sadlife, but your post is unfortunately a test case):

We talk at a much more honest level while bathing than we did before the 'break up'. Gentle cleaning and thorough rinsing was a topic. Places I can wash vs. places I cannot are constantly negotiated. As always has been the strongest attraction of these bath times is eye contact. She studies mine to see what I'm paying attention to. I tend to obey the attention on the eyes, sneaking glances elsewhere only when I'm sure I'm safe and she won't notice. The game puts a smile on both of our faces.

Here instead we have sadlife describing not just supervising his G9 in the bath (unclothed, of course). He is describing a rather intense emotional experience of mutual eye contact, of her specifically paying attention to what he is noticing. He washes parts of her, and which parts are something she participates in negotiations about.

What I was concerned about was primarily iatrogenic harm. (G9 is probably herself OK with this at the time, and it is likely she will never regret it if she keeps it a secret -- but also possible she will).

I'm just not a pedo exceptionalist the way you are.

Society is certainly a pedo exceptionalist, and that matters greatly when we discuss iatrogenic harm.

not EVERYONE is caught peeking

This is true. But a lot of people are caught. And the consequences in this case if it makes it into her description of what happened are potentially serious in terms of an investigation. I think the chances are high of an investigation even if she says instead, "He is careful never to look at my private parts".

After the "empowered girls want to be prostitutes" post...

Characterized unfairly. It was my speculation that if society truly shifted and girls were empowered in a way that none are today, then that was a likely consequence for many of them. I didn't claim certain knowledge on the point.

I really no longer expect you to be able to read anything here anymore without inserting ugly thoughts everywhere.

Yes, fine, you are entitled to your opinion. And in turn I estimate that your level of contact with reality is quite low, with ideology largely trumping objectivity. And Mr. Hyde is just a mean, vindictive man.






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