Man, it's pretty crazy how much I relate to what you wrote. I recently fell in love for the first time too, and it was the most profound and intense experience I have ever been through. Before, love to me was a strange, incomprehensible, mildly irritting phenomenon that made it impossible to listen to most music without rolling my eyes. Now, just thinking about the subject makes me feel a mixture of shock and awe, and often distracts me from whatever it is I was doing at the time.

I only wish that people like us didn't have to feel fear, shame, and confusion, and risk ostrasization and sometimes even physical harm just for feeling a huge amount of affection for a particular kind of human being. The horrible stigma society assigns people who are attracted to children is extremely distressing to deal with as a young teenager, with no significant life experiences to draw from or stable reference point from which to build up a healthy self-image.

>I remember the best moment of my life when she was sat on me and I grab her hands, crossing our fingers, touching her hands and caressing them. Then she kissed me.

Reading this made me feel shivers down my spine. I felt the same when my favorite human hugged me, sighed, and told me that she loved me. Just the memory of that moment popping into my head immediately changes my state of consciousness. It feels like some flood gates in my brain are blown open. I've taken a lot of mind-altering substances in my 19 years of existence on this earth, and nothing, not even the strongest opiates or the most heroic doses of psilocybin can compare to the feeling of unbelievable bliss when you are with a prepubescent girl who loves you and who you love back.