Age is just a number.

Should we be unconcerned with abusive relationships just because her BF is same in age? Do we cease being concerned when she reaches the magic age?

My role ought to be the same as with anyone else I care about. Preventing abuse while avoiding micromanaging the healthy relationship.

We can pretty much all agree on what constitutes abuse. But overseeing "health" becomes very fascist very fast. Some folks conflate sex and love and cannot see how a physical relationship ( "between consenting adults" for the morally stunted ) can be healthy. It can.

Its like the relationship between criminal speech and free speech. We disallow death threats. But we don't run around overseeing what sorts of novels other people are allowed to enjoy.

In a perfect world there's no reason for parents not to act as concerned third parties to sound a warning if abusive behaviour arises.

Unfortunately in our world the legal system will not tolerate reasonable oversight.

If an adult tells their teen, "drink in moderation but don't hesitate to call me for a ride back from the party if you aren't sober enough to drive," then they're condoning and facilitating criminal activity. As the system presently stands, "obey the law; and if you aren't don't involve me," is the only thing a parent is allowed to do.

I am sure, that given the impossible choice between legal neglect and illegal assistance, that many parents choose to break the laws and offer advice to their children and are ready to intervene when they are needed. Hopefully some day the laws will allow this reasonable behaviour. But at present parental oversight places the parent and child in jeopardy of having the state take custody.

Given that many girls do date older guys, what sort of world would you want to be a parent in?

Dante