I think these are interesting cases. In today's society, any man would be wise to be alarmed and choose his actions carefully, even if he felt no attraction at all.

In both cases I think the need to keep from doing anything that could be seen as complicit with sexual connotations is highest, and consistent with that you want to be as kind as possible, and ideally don't need to panic.

In both cases I would be inclined to follow up, once order is restored. In a calm state of mind, just ask without judgement, "Why did you do that?" and listen to what she says. That second case does not sound to me like a girl who has simply decided she's interested in sex.

Alternatively or in addition, I'd also have some inclination to tell a parent. Today, societal reaction means these girls are doing things that are dangerous for them and for any men they do them with (and we can leave aside whether it is *just* societal reaction). Once again, no need to be judgmental, just give the facts.

Should we always be controlled or are there times when it might be OK to have mutual physical love?

If anyone expressed support for the latter option, it could well be seen as against the group rules in terms of encouraging illegal behavior.