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Our own childhood experiences

Posted by walkinginthepark on Saturday, September 20 2014 at 1:02:33PM

Do you have any experiences from your own childhood of unconventional relationships with adults?

I've heard it said that many pedophiles are pedophiles because they were abused as children. I'm curious whether that's true. I don't want to use the word abused because I think that makes a big assumption that all such relationships were abusive so my question is whether you had experiences, positive or negative, as a child with an adult.

I did with one man, a family friend. I was around 6 when it started but I'd spend a lot of time even then playing in some woodland behind our house, making dens and such. Anyway, one day this guy came with me to help make a cool den and when we'd finished he introduced me to a game he liked to play. I won't go into detail but it was basically oral sex, giving and receiving and experiencing the taste of a man. I remember a lot about that first experience which confused me at the time because I knew it was something we shouldn't do and I knew boys were supposed to do things with girls but I actually really enjoyed the experience. I think I enjoyed the attention and enjoyed hanging out with a big boy/man but for me beyond the confusion of being with a man I can say it was a very positive experience.

I actually enjoyed it a bit too much and for a while almost became a little stalker to him. He lived near to my home so I'd sneak off to his house and be knocking on his door when he'd answer and look really nervous that I was there. I'd go in and he'd tell me I shouldn't go to his place but to appease me he'd let me blow him before sending me back home.

We didn't date for long but many years later as an adult I saw him again in a bar. He didn't recognise me but I knew him so after a few drinks for courage I went across and introduced myself. He looked stunned so I just thanked him for the happy memories and left.

I'm not gay and that is my only experience with a guy but it was a very positive experience for me. People would say it was abusive but I know it wasn't. Did that contribute towards me being attracted to women and young girls? Perhaps, I'm not sure so I'm curious what experiences others had.




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