I differentiate by talking to them, asking them if they are happy, if I can help, if they want to talk and if they are unhappy then offering ideas and suggestions that might help them.

I've had many people do this for me throughout my life and for that I will be eternally grateful.

It isn't about imposing your will or making big ethical judgements for another, it's about taking the time to see if someone is unhappy and if they are then taking the time to help them. We as humans have developed great senses for detecting when others are angry, happy, unhappy, stressed etc. They may not want help, they may be afraid to talk and starting a conversation could bring up hurt but that doesn't mean it's wrong in my opinion.

For me, sometimes bringing up hurt to help someone can be the right thing to do rather than turn a blind eye and let them keep suffering in silence.

For example on another board I've known pedophiles over many years who have been very depressed to the point of considering suicide. I've tried to always take the time to encourage them and support them. Society is hard on pedophiles and it can be hard to find love and acceptance but it isn't impossible. Being a pedophile can be lonely, can lead people to live isolated lives and feel depressed but I know they are good people who deserve love and respect and that can sometimes mean talking about difficult things that hurt.