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Re: The only part I argue with:

Posted by Dante on Friday, September 19 2014 at 05:22:27AM
In reply to Re: The only part I argue with: posted by Markaba on Friday, September 19 2014 at 04:59:42AM

"I'm just not as much of a misanthrope as you are."

"Or maybe I'm just more of a realist than you are. It's all how you spin it, huh?"


Now I AM tempted to believe in the New Age flakery of the "Power of Intention." Because clearly my Pollyanna thoughts create safer and healthier people in my local region than your thoughts do in yours. ;p

"Hell, in most cases just one person falling out of love with the other one is enough to cause the second party distress, and certainly ending that relationship is going to hurt. Am I off base here?"

No. But I don't draw any conclusions about not trusting people anymore. Or not allowing them to try.

Hell, like most divorced guys I took it harder than her in my emotional and health reactions. This is compounded as it always is by being the party who is left.

I agree that its up there with death of a loved one and being fired from a job as a blow to the gut.

But, would I want to live in a world that limited that kind of pain by not allowing anyone to try? Or, alternately, not allowing anyone to leave?

When it all comes down to it would I trade a decade long marriage and being a step-dad in just because the last two years were so-so and I got sideswiped by a divorce? No. And not just for the girls or even the "lessons learned." I think I know more about how love goes right by having experienced so much of that when we were both perfectly satisfied with it.

I'm perfectly fine with the idea that I'm more optimistic than you are. It just seems "realistic" from those I've met and broke bread with.

Ultimately it seems that some are more inclined to be pessimistic and others more optimistic. Though it seems to me from those I've encountered, that the pessimists are both more inclined to be unhappy and unsuccessful in their relationships AND more abusive when they get upset.

It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Those who assume that other races are as racist as they are are likely to create that very thing they observe in others.

No need to hide from real abuse when it occurs. But there's also no need to assume it as a default when you just don't know.

I've found that trying to avoid being hurt doesn't mean that I don't get hurt. But it sure has contributed to eliminating opportunities to be happy.

Dante

Dante





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