"if I get into a sexual relationship with this kid, is she going to incur some sort of harm from that relationship? Unless some truly exceptional circumstances are present, I think the answer is an overwhelming yes, and I no longer believe it can always entirely stem from iatrogenesis years down the road."

https://www.newgon.com/wiki/Testimony:_Adult_Male_with_Minor_Female

https://www.ipce.info/host/rivas/girls_men.htm

That said, in a world without AoCs you would be under no obligation to be her "provider" of sexual pleasure. Further, sometimes figuring out consent sometimes runs the risk of projection of a negative possibility onto what might, for her, be positive.

Its perfectly OK, albeit condescending, to say, "she wants me but I don't feel completely secure in that."

Though I must admit that my experience of breaking off a sexual relationship for this reason was with Luz; who was both enthusiastic and nearly a decade my senior. But I began to believe that she was using the sex not just for sex, but as a way of keeping me around in hopes that I'd change my mind about marriage. I believed that she was lying to herself and me when she said she liked things just the way they were. And, condescending or not, I felt uncomfortable with the possibility that she was letting the Dante in her imagination lead her on.

Dante