This post is interesting to me and makes some good points. I know we are often in strong opposition to each other, but I hope you can take my reply here more in a spirit of exploration.

Children may not inherently feel bad about sexual touching, but it's not usually a notable positive deal for them either. It's when adult preferences come in that I get uneasy. Especially when those preferences are strong and the child doesn't really get why it's so interesting to the adult. "Yes, Sally, I've played princess with you for an hour now and you really liked that, and it would really mean a LOT to me if I can play around in your panties."

Here are some other cases, with some overlap to ones I've probably raised before.

You tell the kid if she goes out to your lawn and digs up 200 dandelions down to the roots, you'll let her have ten new mint-condition pennies.

You offer her a bowl of ice cream. You know from talking to her that her parents don't let her have ice cream in the afternoon because they think it spoils her appetite for dinner. No quid pro quo, but she'll like you for it.

For those same shiny pennies, you tell the kid to go outside and yell racial slurs within hearing of your neighbors. She has no idea what they mean, but she likes to yell things and wants to make you happy. Maybe you don't even need to offer the reward.

She's quite a small girl and you offer her twenty brand new shiny pennies in exchange for, um, her panties?

Now, if any of these things happen (including playing inside her panties), I don't think anyone should tell the girl she did anything wrong or make her feel guilty. That's important! I agree with you there.

But in all cases I think I would be quite angry at you (and of course I don't mean you as Dante, just "you" as a hypothetical grown-up friend).

There are parental issues here. You might not agree that ice cream spoils appetite for dinner, but that's not your job to undercut that. The panties may actually be the property of the girl (her parents would tell her that) but it's the parents who have to buy new ones -- leaving aside the connotations.

Of course society will pack you off to prison for years if you're caught playing with her between the legs, and be quite upset if you buy her panties off of her, but will probably not incarcerate you for the other things.

I don't have the ethics all worked out, but I think you would do much better to get parental permission for all of those things first, and it's a pretty good bet you wouldn't get it for any of them (MAYBE the dandelions).

One rule is you make sure parents are informed of anything you do with their child, especially if it is at all controversial. I hope most people's intuitions agree with me here.

Now, what we do sexually is usually private, certainly as adults or as teenagers. But if sexual play with a prepubescent is to be an exception to disclosing things to parents, then you're admitting there's something special about it and it's not just fun play any more.