But whether its the denial that an uncle is up to something or telling children that their pastor ought to be obeyed because he acts in their interest; it simply grooms the child and dismisses their "childish" objections. Without freedom to disassociate from family and surrogate family, the abused child will be repeatedly delivered to her abuser.

This is going to sound creepy, but I don't care.

As a groomer, you rely on that. It is one of your working assumptions. It is necessary that you are aware because you need to know how to exercize that power, and rather, how not to and when not to. A groomer that does not work under the assumption of parental ownership will face difficulties, either with the parents or with the child themself. Sure enough, the pedo will probably allow the child to do something the parents don't allow. But even when the pedo does this, he is aware of the subversion implied and the consequences towards the relationships with both the parents and the children. But the advanced groomer is certainly relying in their own relationship with parents to keep the children close. And any subversion indulged in needs to remain non-destructive of that relationship.

"The evidence is quite good that pedophiles account for a large proportion of child sex abuse (as society defines it), and an even greater proportion if you exclude abuse from within families."

No. Not unless you also allow the a situational offender to be defined as a "Pedophile" because of the victim and despite a different sexual orientation.

I think the second phrase clarifies the first.

Pedophiles account for a large proportion of child sex abuse... as long as you exclude all the abuse which you know is not perpetrated by pedophiles.

It is the same as how police commit no murders... because all the people they kill are filed under "justifiable homicide." Or how jurisdictions that define sex as penetration have no way to ban or punish rape where the perpetrator is female (ie, "no rape is committed by females;)" or for that matter legislate on consensual female-female sex.

It's an effective way to distract attention. Intellectually dishonest as hell, but effective to distract.