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Re: The Curse of Pedophilophobia

Posted by Markaba on Saturday, July 26 2014 at 02:16:34AM
In reply to Re: The Curse of Pedophilophobia posted by EthanEdwards on Friday, July 25 2014 at 10:19:13PM

Markaba, it's kind of nice for me to hear I'm not the only one who thinks Dante's criticisms can be nitpicky.

Yeah, I've had my own gripes with Dante (and really most people that have come and gone at GC while I've been here). I have a lot in common with Dante, but I find that if he disagrees with you on anything major (major being a relative term here, but you know) he will zero in on every little fault he finds with your position. He's not the only one to do that, but because of his intelligence he is extraordinarily good at it.

I like Dante a lot, and I will not hesitate to say that he is probably the smartest guy in the 'room'. But he has his faults just like all of us, mainly his tendency to put ideas over actual people. That is a common trait here, actually, leading me to believe that many MAPs--or at least those inclined towards joining forums like this--really are Aspies, whether they are willing to admit it or not. I can point to several who are almost certainly Aspies, and Dante is one of them.

It's kind of funny in a way. Nick's favorite disease analogy for pedophilia is "diabetes" and mine is more like "myopia" for me personally, but that's a bit whimsical of me and I think for most pedophiles Nick's is closer to the mark

I don't think of it as an illness so much as a kind of handicap. That probably arises from being born without my right hand, but I have experience there. I look at it like this: I am a leftie in a right-handed world. Does society make things harder for me? Yes, every damned thing under the sun is oriented towards the rightie majority. And not having my right hand at all makes it even more difficult than if I were merely left-handed (those wall-mounted pencil sharpeners in school were a real bitch, let me tell you). Anyway, there are certain things society can do to make it easier on people like me, but in the end I am still missing my right hand, and there are always going to be stumbling blocks because of it. I accept that because I'm a realist. That doesn't mean I am a self-hating amputee or some such bullshit.

Likewise, society can accommodate MAPs way more than they do, but there are still going to be stumbling blocks. For example, I have long wanted a normal family--wife, kids, the whole shebang. It doesn't matter how much society changes, I'm never going to have that. Prepubescent girls cannot get pregnant, so the chance of ever having a biological child with my lover would be nil. That's not a prejudice. It's a fact. Furthermore, even if it was allowed and girls that age could get pregnant, I would never have intercourse with her anyway for fear of hurting her, and I certainly would not want her to get pregnant, as it would be highly dangerous.

And that's the problem with the kind of super-idealistic philosophies that so many MAPs adopt. They don't seem to comprehend that real life is always messy and can never live up to any ideals they set. Moreover, they seek to change a paradigm that has evolved over millions of years: the parent protecting their children until a certain time. Nearly every animal on earth takes care of their young for a time, and because of that the child necessarily forfeits certain freedoms that adults of their species have. It comes with the territory; it has to. Now, I don't claim that nature is perfect or that we should measure everything we do against it, but the trait described above is nigh universal, and there's a very good reason for it. I accept that because, you know, I'm not batshit crazy. It is what it is, like it or not.

Many will say that young animals have their freedom long before they reach full maturity, and that's true, but there is no other animal whose social structure is anywhere near as complex as ours, and that is an important distinction that many here seem to just gloss over. I do think there is a lot of room for improvement, but I also believe overall our species is moving in the right direction anyway (minus a few isolated and temporary hitches here and there). Every generation seems to rely less and less on violence to control their children, for example, at least in the West.

Do I think there will ever be a time when adults and kids can interact sexually? Maybe to a very limited degree, but I do NOT believe humanity will ever arrive at a point where children will be given the exact same rights as adults at birth, including sexual freedoms. So, that being the case, we just need to get that shit right out of our heads and focus on what we can actually accomplish. In fact, as I see it, that so many here have these profoundly warped ideals that they are utterly inflexible on is in itself a stumbling block to our acceptance. I agree that there's a ton of bullshit in the victim culture that has built up around this issue, which is why I take an agnostic view of the effects of adult-child sex overall. But I also recognize that, like it or not, the deck is so heavily stacked against the possibility of adult-child sexual relations that it borders on insanity to keep obsessing about it. And that's pretty much my view on this topic in a nutshell.

Here's the most basic test. Your darling sister has a new baby and it's a boy! Would you wish on this tiny nephew a pedophilic attraction? Or hope he likes adults? I don't hesitate there. To a lesser extent, I'd wish he was straight instead of gay. Life is a lot easier, even without the prejudice. If nothing else it's cool being able to make a baby (highly likely but not certain, I realize) that really is a part of each of you, and not having to take drastic and expensive measures to have a baby at all.

Yep, I have a nephew, and certainly wouldn't wish this on him. If he was an MAP, I would certainly support him as much as I could, but knowing what's in store for him, I would pity him too. As it so happens, he's a young adult now and seems to fall well into normative territory, so good for him. I agree with your point about making a baby too, as I stated above.

We have debated in the VP group whether we would take a pill to make our pedophilia go away. That's of course a different question, because we are who we are and it's a matter of identity, but I think over half of us would. I invented another pill that I would take: one that would give me a full attraction to adult women. I wouldn't take the pill that got rid of my attraction to little girls, because it really does feel like a positive thing to me, given who I actually turned out to be.

This question has been posed at GC more than once, so I have thought long and hard about this. I wouldn't take the pill, and I'll tell you why. I do not believe that the various aspects of our personality/identity are isolated bubbles that can be removed without affecting the rest of it. I think it's more accurate to picture our identity as a tight copse of trees with intricately intertwined root systems. You can't just reach in there and pull up the pedophilia tree without ripping up huge chunks of your whole identity. So much of who I am, even things seemingly not related (my interest in speculative fiction, for example) ties back into my sexuality, and vice versa. And the older I get, the more complex that root system becomes. It might've been possible to uproot that tree when I was a kid and my "trees" were still young, but at this point I just don't think it's possible without destroying pretty much everything I am, and I'm not willing to go that far.

As for the adult woman pill, yeah, I think I would take that one.



Markaba





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