In the 1970's there was a group of homosexuals that went to Uranus. Uranus has an alternative orientation, with its poles all sideways and silly like that. And it has fabulous rings run from top to bottom, instead of around the middle. It seemed like the perfect planet for them, so they packed their shit and left.

This new planet seems like a good match for us. It orbits a dim (us pedos have lower than average IQ) red dwarf (us pedos are lower than average in height) star. It has an orbital period of 130 days. If it has to have a period, 130 days isn't bad - I calculate a girl's 18th birthday on this planet happens in 6.4 earth years. I could live with that.