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As requested- A thawing of attitudes

Posted by Butterfly Kisses on 2013-May-24 10:56:08 EDT, Friday
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It was requested I elaborate on the subject matter in a post I made. Here it is for everyone interested.

I had a neighborhood type party that I went to recently. Really it was just a party of my friends since I knew pretty much everyone there. There were around 15 people when the conversation came up.

Abby= A girl of 10 who I currently look after
Bea= An adult cousin who I have told I am a pedophile

Everyone was spread around talking in small groups and eating snacks when this happened-

One lady was reading a magazine and said to her friend "That just doesn't seem right".

The friend asked "What doesn't?"

The first lady said "There is a service hotline for abused children. It seems that over 50% of the callers are pedophiles asking for help". (I had actually heard this statistic before this). I wasn't about to touch this topic with a 10 foot pole though especially with Abby's mother there.

A guy who was near them then spoke up and said "I have heard this statistic too. I am glad they are calling in and trying to get help".

The first lady (who was still reading) then said "Well that's just ridiculous." When asked she said "They are automatically notifying the police on these people".

By now the conversation was dying down around them and people were starting to listen as usually is the case when the word pedophile is mentioned.

Many people started saying how wrong that was and that these people needed therapy not a policeman. A few people desperately tried to change the subject, but the argument started getting heated and everyone started sitting or standing in a large circle to discuss this.

One man said "Pedophiles can't go without sexually terrorizing a child. It's impossible for them. They will always act on it. Calling the police and throwing them in jail is to polite for them. They should be rounded up and killed for their crimes.

Another person said "I don't believe pedophiles will always commit. Look at this article plus I heard recently of some kind of organization for pedophiles that helps them stay away from children and lead productive lives and that many of them are." (he must of heard about virtuous pedophiles because I know of no other). "They need help with this, not condemnation. If we act by throwing them in prison or with negativity none of them will ever tell anyone. And that's what we need, the pedophiles to feel comfortable coming out and telling us so that we can help them and less children will be abused."

The man that just said all pedophiles should be killed then said "You have been listening to their twisted lies then. They are just trying to manipulate people into letting them rape children because they are incapable of caring about others. That's why they should all die. They don't care about children other than for their sexual gratification".

This whole time all this was going on Bea was staring at me intensely like she was trying to study my reaction to everything that was said. She and I were the only ones not offering our opinions on the subject. I wished she wasn't staring at me though. I was terrified someone would realize. But, to get back to what was happening.

When the guy said that, another lady piped up. "I feel I have to speak now. They definitely need help, not death. I was molested as a child, by a man that was taking care of me. He was always kind, always listened to my problems, comforted me when I was sad. The molestation had no physical abuse and he was as gentle as could be always asking me if I wanted to continue. Yes it was a terrible crime he committed, yes he took advantage of me knowing that I couldn't actually approve of what was going on, yes he should be punished. But I think if he had been able to tell people about it and had gotten help none of that would've happened. He wasn't a monster, he was a kind, caring person that made a huge mistake that hurt someone else. I'm sure if he had felt comfortable telling people what his feelings were and they were met with understanding none of this would ever happen. That's the one thing I picked up when I was with him, that he felt the world hated him and he just wanted people to understand."

The angry guy said "See what he's done. He has twisted you so much that you actually believe that it's OK for these people to be around children." His wife actually tried to get him to cool it as this was actually pretty rude and other people were starting to be a little angry at him.

He turned to me and said "You boy. You haven't said what you think yet. You take care of Abby don't you? What would you do if you came in and someone was sexually assaulting her".

I had of course been staying out of the conversation till now. The question was direct and while I wished I could add more in support for pedophiles I didn't want to for several reasons. I felt everyone's eyes on me. Especially my cousins who was just staring at me without giving any indication of what she thought. I stared down at the table while I thought about what I would say. I didn't lie. "I would f****g kill him."

The man smiled at my response. The lady that had been molested as a child was actually a little upset and said "What if the guy was just kissing or something. He doesn't deserve to die. He shou***

Abby's mother raised her hand to indicate she should stop. She smiled at me and said "Don't worry. He just feels so protective over Abby. He knows if Abby is not in physical danger not to kill someone. But, (my name) should realize like has been said that not all pedophiles will act and they shouldn't feel like society will kill them just for what they are as long as they control it." The angry guy was about to speak, but she hushed him while she said "And yes (his name) if there was a pedophile around my child and he never acted on it I would be uncomfortable it had happened, but in the end what can you do? Besides it doesn't matter because I have "my name" to take care of her so I don't have to worry about that anyway."

The conversation went to whether pedophiles should be able to be around kids which I would say the majority disagreed with. But in the end here's the breakdown.

I think there were 16 total people, but I'm not 100% sure as I didn't count while I was there and my memory isn't good enough.

2- thought pedophiles should be killed or thrown in prison the day its realized they are a pedophile.
3- thought that it wasn't possible for a pedophile to not eventually act on their urges.
Most thought that most pedophiles were capable of not acting on their urges. Can't remember exact numbers with what everyone was saying though.
6- of 16 thought it was fine for pedophiles to still take care of children even after knowing. 4 stated so including Abby's mother. My cousin must be OK with it as she hasn't told me that she thinks I shouldn't and I of course am OK with it.
At the beginning most people thought that pedophiles just had sexual urges toward children and couldn't care less about them. That changed by the end.

This is honestly not the reaction I was expecting to get.

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