The last update ;(

Well, it didn't take long. We have resolve that we should not be in a 'bf/gf' relationship and are just friends.

I'm sad, since I've loved her for about 2 years, and I've come to fantasize that she is the best person in the world. So it is going to take me a few days I guess, to get back together. But we are still friends after all, so I will still have her in my life, and I guess I won't be falling for her in limerance, since we have been through the process of revealing to each other.

She says she still loves me, and I still love her, and we agree we probably always will, but that a relationship just doesn't work.

This really makes me question what the hell I'm going to do with my life. I really want to be with someone. I'm going to have to see my psychologist about my abandonment and loniness problems.

I'm not the only one with relationship, abandonment fears, or lonliness problems. But I'll need to figure out how to accept myself again, because for much of the time I've identified as an MAA, I've also been in love with this girl, and now that I'm not I feel I've lost some of my identity and some of my reason for living, and a lot of the reason of why I'm proud to be who I am.

Yup I'm crying right now.