Re: Hi Tril, thanks (and repost deleted server..)

Hi Tril, I was just going to repost this and I saw youre reply. I actually re-wrote the whole thing, will you give it another read? As to your points, I understand I appreciate your honest opinion; I hope it isnt to my detriment that I am persistent. I just know this is possible; I will give up, but maybe not just yet. I know I could make a small step here, which could be a big mis-step, so yes, I am being VERY careful. Something must change, I know that But why dont you think that these parents may be like Fs parents? I think they might be rational enough if I told them what has happened thus far, that I saw where this is going and that I dont support the idea of a secret relationship. Under those pretenses, Id think they would rather be able to know what is going on, then to know it might go on behind their back. I tend to think I could explain to them why we enjoy each others company; I suppose the unknown variable is how receptive they will be to that

Now, to what I said before, this is the post that got taken down by the server problem.

So I have found myself in a situation where I think I have some very important decisions to make. Im taking this very seriously

It is about the girl that Ive been talking a lot about here, its fair to say I love her. Ive referred to her here as 'Joy', or simply didn't.

Well, umm apparently her parents DO NOT like me. It is just that over time, they have seen enough things to become suspicious of me. Like in what way to I like their daughter? The straw that broke the camels back was:

I invited her to come with me, in a group, including peers my age, and maybe others yet unknown, to an event which she likes much, and my willingness to pay for her ticket is probably one of the things that got them thinking.

I suppose it is assumed that they would figure things out eventually, but when it rains, it pours. At the same time this has happened, when they were lecturing her, (13), on this situation, about me, and if my intentions were pure etc, or fear in their mind of their daughter having reciprocal feelings for me, from that Joy was asking me if I liked her as more than a friend. She said they got her thinking She asked for the honest truth, so I told her, and she completely understood me, and accepted that, and she said likewise that she loves me but wishes we were so different in age. In short, we were basically saying the same things The problem is that since she has also admitted she loves me, our former friendship is now something that her parents do not know about. (Keep in mind, this all happened in the last day or so.)

Ive been told here before that the best thing I can do is be open with her parents. I think they are very scared, being protective, and really since they do not know me at all, that is very understandable. I actually do know where they are coming from. But Im scared to be open about this with them, and Joy does not want me to tell them anything. She wants to keep it all from them. She says we still get to see each other from time to time, and that it will have to be enough. I think that may work, possibly, but I dont think it is the healthy course of action for her, and I also think it is inevitable that in time her parents would find out. Be it by seeing a text I sent her, or by spying on her computer, or by watching they were still always talking to each other when we are near, or by the long calls we have.

My father tells me he is worried that her parents would be likely to call the police on me. He thinks if I were to be open with them, such as by writing Joys parents a letter to clarify some things, and put them as ease, that I, may as well just bring it down to the police station. I know he is scared for me, but the problem is he just wants me to stop and turn around, and of course I do not want to, but also I dont think that is the best course of action either. He is worried so much that I have trouble telling if what he says is logical fear or not. I dont think her parents are going to be calling the police on me, they know Im very nice to her, they know we havent done anything illegal, but I think his point is that if I try to push her parents to be accepting of our friendship, or even our feelings for each other, then I may be inviting that sort of problem where it could escalate.

Im pretty worried for her though, not just be. I wish she could be open with them, and I dont know what I should be doing right now. What would be best for her? The possibilities include breaking up with her, which is my least favorite, or keeping everything a secret, (also not a great idea), or trying to get her parents to understand. Getting her parents to understand could mean 2 things. In one case they know that I have feelings for her, and her for me, that seems the most open. It seems the best option, but I think it is unlikely The other would be where her parents just dont think ill of me. She claims she would be in big trouble if they knew how each of us felt for each other; hence she wants to keep it a secret. Im very sad that she has to feel this way. She says she is on my side, but I don't want her to have to live in an emotional shelter

Im thinking a lot about this, but Im going to be taking it slowly so I dont do something I regret, however I think I also must act at some point. To do nothing in this case, and just hope it blows over I think would not work I think I have to act for the best.