Re: My two cents

Hmmm, half the readers seemed to miss the writer's point, or perhaps I interpreted differently. About the comment Jennifer made -- the author didn't say "Don't ask your kid about his/her day"; instead, it said "Don't ask it in a way that makes it sound like you don't really care". Another poster claimed to disagree with the author and then bashed use of "trite generic phrases" with kids, when that is exactly what the author was cautioning against as well.

Tone of voice is FAR more important than the actual words used anyway. My parents and I are always getting better at communicating through an understanding of the other person's moods and tendencies, and knowing how to respond appropriately. Ultimately it feels like things are working best when there's mutual respect of different feelings/viewpoints.

I highly approve of the anti-materialism suggestion in that article. More than anything else, I think materialistic culture interferes with people's (not just kids') ability to be creative, form their own identities, and maintain self esteem. The people I know who coasted through adolescence with little to no issues all didn't care about how they or anyone else looked or dressed. They formed opinions of others based on their character and actions.

The other thing I observe is that kids respond better to adults when the adults aren't treating the kids as being on a different level. Sometimes I see parents acting like their kids are super special/important/whatever, moreso than they would act around other adult family members. Why would anyone do that? Treat them as equals instead. Then of course, the flip side of the coin is when kids get treated as unimportant or are ignored.

It's tough to strike a balance with the whole treat kids as equals thing -- because it can be easy to fall into the trap of assuming they already know certain behaviors and strategies for coping with certain situations, when they may not have had an opportunity to learn those things.