Re: For a Klondike Bar?

Thanks for your reply. What impresses me most about your post is that you seem to have a plan for everything and everything fits in its plan nicely. You are quite prepared. You also seem to have a lot more control over your situation and your emotions than I do. My life is quite, er . . . organic in comparison to yours. I've been forced to move several times in the last 5 years, for example--not always because of my orientation, though it usually played some part in it. Also, I had at one time resolved, after I'd outed myself, that I wouldn't ever get close to any little girls again in the romantic love sense, but unfortunately things happen that are out of your control.

You have to understand, Dante: I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone, or damn near it. You live in Metropolis, which is completely different. My life is extremely complicated. I deal with social anxiety on top of everything else, and I'm sort of trapped because I cannot just up and leave my family. I'm very much dependent on them. I could never make it on my own. And K is very important to me. But her family can be ignorant (some of them, for example, are racist.) They understand my orientation somewhat, but if I was to go around supporting things like contact they would have serious doubts about my intentions, and frankly I could understand their concern. By making it clear that I am completely abstinent from sex with children and do not support it in any way, they have come to trust me enough to allow things they never would've allowed otherwise. But even then it took a couple of years to get to this point. K is the most important child in my life right now. I have a good many years before she grows up and leaves me behind. At that point I'm not sure what I'll do. Things may be very different for me. Right now K is my central reference point for love as I understand it and my raison d'etre, or at least a large part of it. I think she needs me too, which makes my attachment to her all the more acute.