Re: Question: What Would You Do for Love?

Just a few things here...

I disagree. Society currently does not see this issue anything like you do. They aren't going to take your pro-contact views as common decency; they will view it as I presented it in an earlier thread: you just want to fuck underage girls. That may be wrong in most cases, but that's how they see it. You only reinforce their views when you call for age of consent laws to be dropped. In my estimation it is far better for us to prove we love the girls in our loves, and to demonstrate that so that society can actually see we are devoted to them even without the sex. That is what love is--you make sacrifices for those you love. It may not be fair, but everyone in the world has to make some sacrifices to be with the ones they love. That is especially true for us, in this time period.

I disagree with your disagreement because I think that as more people get to know you as a person, they come to realize that MAAs are no more motivated by a cheap desire to fuck underage girls than are typical hetero males devoted solely towards a desire to fuck women and nothing else. My pro-contact views haven't hurt my ability to get others to listen to me in the least, because once they get to know me as a person, they know that my attraction base encompasses the potential to fall in love, as well as a strong social aspect, just as is the case with typical hetero men and women. It's not too difficult a leap for people to make that if typical hetero men are capable of falling in love with those they are attracted to sexually, and for their attraction to encompass more than simply a desire to get laid, then so are people who are attracted to underagers. I have found few people incapable of making that leap and reaching that understanding after they take the time to get to know us as people. When people do not know MAAs personally (or are unaware that they do because all MAAs in their lives are firmly entrenched in the closet), then it's relatively easy for them to believe anything they hear commonly repeated in the media, including the very incorrect claim that our attractions are only sexual. Once they see you as a human being, it then becomes possible for them to see you as actually loving and caring about girls you are attracted to instead of simply harboring a raw sexual interest and nothing more. They also come to see it as fully human and natural for MAAs to want to have full relationships with girls, rather than as something that is banal or selfish. I understand that the early offline organizations that seek change for MAAs/MAPs have to focus on making the case for our basic humanity first and foremost, which is what B4U-Act is doing right now. I have no problem with keeping my pro-choice views out of our discussions with the MHPs we talk to at the present time, because I understand that getting them to know us as human beings before we can get into more complicated discussions is of paramount importance. Nevertheless, I have never found it necessary or beneficial to lie about or withhold my stance on contact, especially not after people have gotten to know me personally and come to gain a better grasp of the full scope of our attraction base.

That's easy for you to say. I don't see your name and face on PJ's wikisposure site.

Dude, I am trying to show you some support here. You don't have to get so snippy. It's not that I don't understand what you are going through; it's just that I do not think someone's life is effectively over once they appear on Wikisposure. I have tried to avoid appearing there myself to spare my family the type of harrassment they would receive as a result. That is why I stay anonymous in the online world.

Like I said, you giving up access to teen girls doesn't mean you have to a) give up sex entirely or b) give up being friends with teens. I know teen girls; if they want to do something, like come visit you, they'll find a way.

And I have to tell them not to, otherwise I will likely get accused of doing something illegal with them. Even if they do make it a point to try and become my friend, I still have to discourage it, as sad as it makes me to do so.

Also, do you suppose I didn't weigh the greater good against my selfish needs? Of course I did. But in the end I concluded that I was of far more use to the girls in my life then I'd ever be as an activist, particularly for an issue of which I am reticent at best and that I think is pretty much a lost cause. I'm sorry, but I do not want to spend my life, such as it is, jousting at windmills, no matter how valid I or anyone else may think the cause is.

Some of us are not so quick to give up on the cause. If all people believed that fighting for change was futile, no social progress of any sort would occur. I believe I am of far more use for girls fighting for their rights than I am making just a few select girls happy by being their friend. It's also much more gratifying to fight for the greater good than to deal with the frustration of having to limit my interactions with every teen girl I ever meet to platonic levels. Because of the limits that society has set up for me, fighting for change is something that is actually more fulfilling to me than simply making platonic friendships with girls. I am not about to give up on helping future generations of girls and GLers just so I can have a small measure of happiness now. So, I came to a much different conclusion than you did when measuring my personal desires up against the greater good, and I'm glad that people throughout history have made similar decisions to my own, otherwise who knows how far back social progress on many issues would now be.

That being said, I do understand that things are different for pedophiles and hebephiles. My own mother recently admitted to me that she is glad I am "only" attracted to teen girls rather than little girls. I understand that as a hebephile, I have more options than an exclusive ped does. I am not blind to this fact. Nevertheless, I still do not think things are hopeless for exclusive peds in finding some measure of happiness and fulfillment. Look at Mesmerised and 28 as examples of this. I should also remind you that due to the fact that young adolescents currently share a legal status with pre-pubescent children, many people in our society fail to see a difference between children and teens under the age of 18, despite how glaringly obvious the difference is from a developmental standpoint.