I'm all mixed up

Hi,

Yes i am all mixed up in my head right now. I loved this girl when she was 15-17 going to high school. She is graduating this year. She won't be going to high school no more but move on to college. It does not sit well with me. I don't know why. Maybe because i feel that now she finished high school her childhood is gone and that is what i was attracted to. I was attracted to her innoncence.

I am afraid to form a relatioship with her because of that what if we are together and i find out she does not attract me anymore and i want to go back to another high school girl. I can't imagine what this poor girl would go throught and me too. Also what will people think,my family,my friend if i am with someone so young. I know i really love her because i am loosing sleep over this. I am not just like let's forget her and move on to the next little girl. She was really deep in my heart. She was the most beautiful thing and she made me feel so special. The more i age the more something like this will never happen again. I mean a 15 years old girl being attracted to me. 15-16-17 is barely a child but still she was not completly out of her childhood and maybe that is what i was attracted and i am really a pedophile. I don't know.

I think i am attracted to people her age because their are at their best physically and because they are not out of their childhood yet. Maybe i want children myself.

There is something wrong with me. I want to party with teen and be around teen going to school. I want to have sex with teen and i still would like to go to high school to be around 15-16 years old teen. They graduate at 16-17 years old. They finis high school by 17 here in Canada.