Four Loko / Four MaXed -the candy drink

Anybody seen this? 23.5 ounce can in the US. Festive and cool looking can. A whopping 12% alcohol malt beverage with caffeine (a typical beer has 4%). In the EU, they add wormwood oil, the active ingredient found in absinthe. I'd love to try that one, but sadly I'd have to rely on some kind European friend for that. (Don't offer to send me some if I don't know you). Available in flavors like fruit punch and watermelon. And yes, it tastes just like carbonated fruit juice, if not sweeter. No hint of beer. Not even half way through the can and I can feel it. Mind you, I'm a drinker. If I wasn't, I'd already be buzzed. I'm just trying to imagine who their target demographic could be. I'm sure they claim it's young adults.

Made by Drink Four Brewing Company, La Crosse, Wisconsn.

Interesting name. Tough to find a bio.

I can (usually) handle my alcohol. If I drank four of these I'd be shitfaced drunk and hopped up on caffeine at the same time. To be honest, I don't think I could even keep four of these down without puking. It seems to me it's something geared toward teens. It tastes like candy, and if you're not a skilled drinker, it will definitlely keep you from falling asleep or passing out while you're three sheets to the wind, allowing you to drink even more than you'd be able to before passing out from everyday beer.

So what should I think of it? You know, I've always heard of that old conspiracy about when economic times get tough, the state gets loose with the drug and alcohol laws to pacify the people. Is it just a coincidence about the pot about to become legal, or that more cheap alcohol is becoming available, or that it's being geared toward younger people? I'm not sure. I just know this is probably a product that I would have killed to get my hands on at 14 or 15. Who runs such a company? Who gives them startup money? Does anyone ever snoop into such things?

I feel like whether I am cool with it or against it depends on who's behind it. And I'm not sure if that logic is good. If it's some secret government plan to turn young people into alcoholics earlier, then I'm against it. If it's just some loosening up of a tightwad society, then I'm more or less ambivalent.

What I do know is that a product like this has more thought going on behind its marketing than most people may realize. And it's been bugging me for a while now, so I figured I should try one. At the end of just one can of this I am feeling a very noticable buzz and yet I am wide awake and deceptively sharp from the caffeine. If I was new to drinking, I would probably not realize that I'm impaired, and I'd probably open another one to look hard and cool to my friends. I only bought one, because I hate bitching about products before trying them. I don't normally like sweet alcohol.

So here it is. I'm watching a country on its decline, and I'm looking out for the signs. Is this innocent little product one of those signs? Being a pedo of the girl lover variety, it hit me on the first sip that even a very young girl would probably love this, because you really can't even taste the alcohol. Half a can would probably have a child of 10 as drunk as I would be on 8 shots of tequila. And I don't know what the hell I am doing after 8 shots of tequila. What should I think of this stuff?