COPD

My health too... It is obvious to anyone that I have tried to kill myself with alcohol.

But it is not drinking that will kill me, it is smoking.

As long as I keep relapsing (alcohol) I cannot stop smoking. And now I understand that I have serious problems with my lungs.

Please don't picture a fat, bald beer drinker. I have all my hair left and I am slim.

I don't know what to think. Only a few months ago did I realize that I have COPD. A merciless one. Even if you stop smoking, it will not stop.

What does it matter if this message makes me ashamed later? If I cannot tell you, my fellow peds, who else could I tell to?

For whom shall I tell my grief? Anton Chekhov