I really don't know what I'd do without you, man.

Once again, I love this stuff you got to say. Virtually no one else on here has such things to say as you and I do.
Thanks for the reply, Goethe. My feelings are exact. I always felt that missionaries were exactly as you put it - secretive frauds who were part of some kind of clique. When I mentioned the word "illuminati" to one of my sister's x-pastors (now he's moved on to another house near some other church in some other town or state to further infect and enslave some new prey) one day at a wedding reception, his face looked insulted and defensive while his words said not much more than "conspiratorial rubbish". I new then and there what he was - or at least what he wasn't. But my duped Chritian family can't see these things. ANd this troubles me greatly. I really need some friends (a social support group), but I don't want to stoop to their level. Maybe you can make some suggestions to me. I find that so many clubs and social groups are made up of arrogant clannish fuckheads or have some other malfunction (maybe there just dumb as fuck. Where oh where does Stahntii go to have people in his life who are decent and not to judgemental? Help me Goethe. I ponder suicide constantly, and really see it as only a matter of time before I do infact end it.
Stah