Intergenerational Friendships--good or bad idea?

The thread down below regarding the Dear Abby letter involving an intergenerational friendship between an 11 year old girl and an adult man that had the man's wife "concerned," and which the current advice giver behind the "Dear Abby" moniker at the present time deemed, in all her ageist pseudo-wisdom, "inappropriate."

Intergenerational friendships are a staple of human history. They have existed for as long as humans have existed, and these types of friendships have had important places in both history and literature. People of both age groups have immensely benefited from such friendships. However, in this day and age, things are different. In past eras, apprenticeships and mentorships were common, school wasn't compulsory, and the type of serious age segregation we see today did not exist. The sex abuse hysteria as we have known it for the past three decades did not exist. Many of the choices that younger people had in past eras no longer exist. Back then, the type of Social Darwinism that exists in society today was unknown back then, as was the attempts to rationalize such attitudes by using a twisted form of junk science (e.g., the biologically "faulty" teen brain that is now being severely challenged). Younger people were treated largely according to their individual merits rather than discriminated against solely on the basis of their chronological age. The concept of "innocence" as defined by the Victorians and the idea that adults are capable of "stealing" this supposedly wonderful and beautiful trait of younger people did not exist in past eras. Hence, it was possible for intergenerational friendships to thrive in previous centuries, and they were seen as acceptable and a normal aspect of life for people of both age groups. But things have since changed since the Victorians and the Industrial Revolution joined forces to descend upon human civilization.

I think the idea of intergenerational friendships in this day and age is a double edged sword.

As Mr. Crab said, if adults avoid forming intergenerational friendships with young people who reach out to them and form a connection with them in large numbers, there will be no way to prove to today's ageist society that these friendships can be very positive and rewarding for both people. Young and older people each have their own unique perspective of the world, and each can have a unique form of wisdom, to offer each other. Both can learn much from each other. If intergenerational friendships become virtually extinct, we cannot show society how beneficial these friendships are to people from both age groups. It would be a tremendous loss for many people in society, and the incessant age segregation of our present day society would grow even more pronounced than it is now.

But on the other hand, as LGsinmyheart noted, making intergenerational friendships in today's world can have potentially catastrophic consequences for the older person, and possibly even for the younger person too. Age disparate friendships are no longer seen as a common or acceptable form of friendship that is potentially beneficial to both individuals. Today, it's considered "weird" and "inappropriate" for an adult to want to be friends with a person under the age of 18. Young people under the Magic Age (which didn't exist as we know it today in past eras) are now viewed as the glorified property of their parents, and any adult who may befriend an underager is seen as encroaching on territory that only the youth's biological sires are supposed to call their own. Nowadays, adults who become part of an underager's life who is not related to her, not authorized by the state (e.g., a teacher or coach), or not personally paid for by the parents (e.g., a private tutor), are seen as intruders, if not potential "predators." Our present day society believes that people of disparate age groups cannot possibly have anything in common with each other, and that if underagers and adults want to befriend each other it's seen as odd or unusual. Whenever such a friendship starts, it's automatically assumed that the underager must not be getting enough adult attention at home or at least within the family (our present ageist society cannot seem to conceive of any reason why a younger person would want to be friends with another person who is well outside of their age group unless it's to substitute for one of the few adults who are supposed to be in their lives due to the type of genetic territorrial rights we today recognize), whereas the adult is assumed to just be "immature" or "strange" for getting anything out of such a friendship.

In our present society, people are supposed to only have a desire to hang out with people in their own age group, or at least people who are on one side or the other of the artificial Magic Age barrier. For instance, adult men are supposed to find teen girls' personalities and subculture annoying, and we are supposed to scoff at the idea that a person in their age group could possibly have anything to offer us on any level. Certainly not anything that a peer could offer us socially or emotionally, of course, and most certainly not what a peer could offer us romantically. The personalities of adults and minors are not supposed to be compatible with each other. Underagers already have adults in their lives, particularly mom and dad, and perhaps a few close uncles or aunts, or the occasional older cousin, and therefore, our society seems to think, they shouldn't have any desire for a relationship with an adult outside of that tightly knit inner circle...or not if they emotionally healthy, at least. If a younger person wants guidance and a voice outside of that inner circle, why not go to their school's guidance counselor? Isn't that what they are there for? This is what our present society seems to think. Hence, when intergenerational friendships are formed today, they are seen as suspicious and indicative that something "wrong" or "inappropriate" is going on. And there is always the possibility of the adult being accused of something illegal, and if that happens, the life of both the adult and the younger friend in question (if he or she should be forced into "therapy" as a result) can be nightmarish beyond belief. An accusation alone can cause an adult's life to change dramatically in a very negative way, and force them to ask themselves if the chance they took by responding to the younger person's desire for friendship and bonding was really worth it in the end.

Okay, this is one of the very few topics in which I am at a crossroads period as to what side I favor. Both Mr. Crab and LGsinmyheart have very good points, and I think both sides should be considered. As I said, a major double edged sword. Since I am out as a hebephile in real life, there is only one side I can take in regards to myself. But for other adults who are not MAAs in the first place? Or for MAAs who are still in the toybox? The latter may be a different story, and I have strong reservations about MAAs forming such friendships out of concern for their personal safety and freedom (for instance, what if I formed a friendship with a teen girl I was attracted to and she tried to seduce me one day? I don't want to ever be in such a position, but that is sort of another albeit related subject for discussion.). What do the rest of you think on the topic of intergenerational friendships in the present time period, where ageist prejudices and stereotyping, enforced age segregation, and the sex abuse hysteria are all running rampant? I could use some guidance of my own on this.