Re: Dear Abby: 11-year-old 'Lacey'

Abby's response is typical of our society's ageist attitudes that adults and minors should never be friends with each other because it's "inappropriate" for people of different age groups to form close relationships. Abby's attitude also goes to what is perhaps the crux of the current hatred of MAAs...it's considered "wrong" in our society for any other adult to have an influence on the personal lives of minors other than their parents. People under 18 are the property of their parents, plain and simple, and this is what Abby is concerned with, not with the possibility that this girl Lacey may have a beneficial friendship with this woman's husband. I am not suggesting that this man should cheat on his wife, because he did make a vow to her, and he does have a family. However, I don't blame the man for being flattered for having Lacey's attentions. I think the woman is jealous of this much younger girl, and I think jealousy is a large reason why so many adult women are viciously against men being attracted to younger girls. He is married, though, and he shouldn't be flirting with any other female regardless of her age, that much I will see. If this man wasn't married, however, then I think that he and Lacey should be left alone by society to form whatever type of friendship or bond that they choose.

Nevertheless, regardless of whether this man is married or not, what he is doing isn't very wise in today's day and age. It's sad that intergenerational friendships and flirtations are so demonized, but this man is asking for trouble, especially if his friendship with Lacey is causing other adults in the neighborhood to start to "talk" behind their backs about it. And a few people in this community wonder why I avoid making friendships with adolescent girls.