Re: I Can't Go Home Again :(

We could still be in the toybox inform our young friends that their being misinformed about pedo's and relations between "children" and "adults", without being detected (if we're smart enough).

You're right, DIss. I do believe I fucked up on how to go about telling my fam. I was under lots of pressure and definately fucked up. I just blasted them with too much at once. I put them into shock. My bro handle it better than sis. But to be honest, I don't think my bro and sis realize that I'm also attracted to pre-p's. I think this because we never talked about my actual target of attraction. I used the term MAA and had shown my sister a picture of Tomoe Yamanaka (on cover of Junior Idol mag) at about age 11 or 12. But shit, that was enough. This girl had 3/4 of her breast already. But still it was enough.

You:
The biggest trouble I have had is with people who do not know me that well and find out about my attraction base, because if people don't know you it's easy for them to think all sorts of things about you (this was the case with that young gay woman I met through my lesbian friend Nancy, who didn't know me well and decided to bad mouth me behind my back when she found out that I was willing to date a 21 year old woman). Also, of course, people who did not like me much to begin with are certainly going to use the revelation of my attraction base against me, and some of my friends have expressed concern to me about this in the past, especially my friend Bob, who once told me, "You know some people are going to use this against you, especially if they should ever have a major disagreement with you about anything at all, right?" However, I strive very hard to be as good a person as possible despite all my human flaws, I do not betray my friends, I do not steal from them, I do not use them for money or anything else, I am always there for them when they need me, I am reliable, and I always have their back if I believe they are in the right about something (though I would never break the law in any way for anyone, of course, and a true friend would never ask me to).

Me:
This seems like an aweful lot of obligation to live up to people's standards. I was going down the road of thinking it be best for myself to be outed, just so that people knew and the mystery was out in the open, where no speculating could be done. But this just makes so many more people keeping so much more close eye on you and would be way to much for me to handle. I'd surely kill myself if I were you. But we all are capable of handling different situations better than others. We're all unique. I don't say my way is any better than yours. We each have our unique loads to tow.

On a last note, Diss (keep in mind that my concentration is low right now and I'm trying to hit the important parts of your reply), I just want to say that I know your not "too" focused on ag's or your gl. And I can tell you definately are doing lots both within the MAA community as well as outside of it. And I have respect for you because of it. I could never do as much shit as you do. And I surely couldn't type as fast as you. For crying out loud, I look at the keyword for almost every letter I hit. That right there is a major contributor to my losing my concentration, whereas if I was speaking my words, it would be so much different.

Anyways I'm glad you accepted my apology and we're back to normal. I will try my danged-est to control my stupid hasty (and hurtful) name-calling in the future (for my own sake, I know). I didn't mean any of that. I care about you and respect you. And as for the Taylor thing, please let me live that down. I only was trying to be hurtful and chose that topic because I knew it would hurt. How did I know that? Not really sure, but sometimes I know things of which I'm able to explain, in words, why I know them. Did I really think you were taking the affair "too far"? Let me put it this way:
I felt
1.) genuinely happy for you that you found something that brought you such satisfaction, and
2.) I occassionally was amused slightly (I admit) by it. Why was I amused? Because I felt you were almost worshipping her. But was I ever offended or annoyed by any of it? NO FUCKING WAY. I was happy for you all along, even during those moments I got amusement. I really hope you can understand this, and see how it makes sense. But this is the 100% truth, Diss. And I'm letting you have it. I hope this is forgivable. And it's not like I regret any of that or feel guilty. I knew I was doing nothing wrong by finding it amusing occasionally. But I definately admit a great wrong by using this vulnerable spot, as a tool to hurt you. I am very sorry for that. And like I said will do my best to control my bad sides.

Stahntii
???
Stahntii's dead

-Sputnik