Re: I Can't Go Home Again :(

You:
First, when we went to the theater, I was treated to a realization that I have had many times before whenever I have been to a place where AGs congregate along with much older people: that despite the fact that I know from an intellectual standpoint the world is filled with incredible AGs, I am nevertheless astonished when I see yet more beautiful AGs acting hyper and just being themselves and I suddenly appear to realize, as if for the first time ever, that there seems to be no limit to the number of truly incredible AGs in this world, all doing their best to make this often dreary world of ours a far better place to live with their zeal, love of life, and creativity.

Me:
I would add to this statement, the following ..... "and their blissful ignorance of anything and everything and their complacency of the rules and their endless pitiful drive to impress their friends"

[Don't mind my being the devils advocate here, Diss(just trying to keep it real - and therfore I chose to mention the negative sides of youth, since they are surely not angels or saints - despite their flawless appearances). We're living in socially fucked times, where people are becoming more and more superficial and shallow and heartless. I don't really think all the technology that exists helps people to stay aware that WE ALL matter and have feelings. For example; people can screw with others lives at the click of a mouse, or drop a friend on facebook or gain a friend on facebook. Friends are like trophies these days. It's very disheartening.
But who is to blame for starting this mindset?
-No clue (some might say Adam and/or Eve, but I ain't gonna waste my time with that).
Who do I blame for keeping it going?
-Anyone who contributes to a book, magazine, tv show (etc., etc.) which puts more emphasis on the importance of "the outer", as opposed to importance of "the inner". That's who. It's a cut throat business with a cut throat impact on us all. And we'd do best to free ourselves of it. And for this, I can easily understand why different extremist cultures around the world have gotten themselves into the habit of covering themselves way up. I don't really condone it, but there is surely a reason for everything.

You:
"I am reminded that I can no longer be part of their social world, that many would frown on it if I attempted to befriend them or hang out with them, and dating them and sharing more intimate moments with these beautiful and amazing individuals are totally out of the question."

"It greatly saddens me that if I attended a dance for teens in that age group, I could only do so as a chaparone, someone who could observe the world that these girls inhabit and which I left behind a long time ago, but never actually enter into it as a participant, as someone who could actually dance with these girls and hold their beautiful bodies close to me and bask in the great energy that is evident in their personalities, and as a result, the mere visual admiration I could do in the role of a chaparone, while making me smile while admiring those girls fairly up close, would still sadden me once I realized their world is off-limits to a guy my age in a more direct manner, and that I would never be able to interact with them as a peer any longer, even though I long to do so to the very core of my being."

Me:
Diss; Please STOP torturing yourself. I didn't make much sense of how in the first paragraph you said you can't hang with those girls because you'd be negatively accused of something, while in the second paragrapg you say you could be a chaparone. [Please explain, if you be so kind]
ANyways, this is why I say it may be counterproductive for our MAA-ness to be made known. It keeps us from being able to even get close to the young, let alone win over their respect. At least with our MAA-ness being kept secret, we could get close to the young and at least win over their respect and likeness. And I really think the second option is better than the first. What good are we to anyone (especially the young) if we have to keep ourselves at a distance while our opponents are filling the minds of the young with misinformation regarding MAA-ness?

Diss; I am formally sorry for losing my cool at you in that last argument. But I care about you!, ya know? You've done so much for me. And don't ever let my little hasty blow up make you think I don't care about or appreciate you or see you as a valuable human being. I definately do.
Anyways, My advice is for you to stop torturing yourself (and to discover the proper steps for you to take in order to do so). Do what you must to not think dwell on all this so much. There really is more to life, and we are just as entitled to these others things as anyone is. I would even suggest you keep your MAA-ness a bit more low-profile (if possible). You can be around young people more easily if people don't know this info of you. And that means you can change the hearts and minds of young people first hand. Not so bad, really. I think many of us on here have separated ourselves, in large degree, from the world and our objects of desire. But we truly need not do that. We are part of the human race just as anyone is. And we owe it to no one to tell them of our sexual preferences. NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!! They simply don't deserve to know. And we don't deserve to commit social suicide by telling them. I learned a hard lesson by telling my family. I was on the wrong path, and I'm working on getting over the need to have others know of my MAA-ness.

Well, I'm starting to lose my train of thought now. So I hope I was some sort of help to you. And I hope you accept my apology.