I Can't Go Home Again :(

Guys, the other day I had something of a GM at a theater when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and then a smaller one later in the evening when we went out to dinner. And as happy as it made me to see some really beautiful and amazing AGs, it also made me self-reflective on my self-identity, mindful of my social position in the world, and...sad. First, when we went to the theater, I was treated to a realization that I have had many times before whenever I have been to a place where AGs congregate along with much older people: that despite the fact that I know from an intellectual standpoint the world is filled with incredible AGs, I am nevertheless astonished when I see yet more beautiful AGs acting hyper and just being themselves and I suddenly appear to realize, as if for the first time ever, that there seems to be no limit to the number of truly incredible AGs in this world, all doing their best to make this often dreary world of ours a far better place to live with their zeal, love of life, and creativity. When me and my best friend Anna were standing in line at the concession stand buying popcorn and soda, I noticed two AGs standing at a distance from me and seeing them jump around and enjoy life as only AGs can do, I could do nothing but smile at being privileged to witness such a glorious sight, especially considering those categorized as 'adults' in our society rarely get the chance to frequent public places where all ages congregate in equal numbers due to the heavy degree of age segregation in this society (something youth liberationists see as a major problem, and which was described as such in Robert Epstein's book The Case Against Adolescence, but I won't go into that anymore since this is not intended to be a political post). Anyway, much to my surprise, the two AGs I had been admiring from a distance unexpectedly decided to go to the concession stand to purchase food items for the movie they were about to see and they just happened to choose the same line where me and Anna were being waited on! In fact, since the line was so short, consisting of me and Anna alone, the two girls ended up standing directly behind me. As a result, I got a close look at both girls, and they seemed to be about 14-15 years old. One of them was an extremely pretty brunette with shoulder length hair that I would kill to run my hands through, and a beautiful body with fair-sized breasts that she wore a tight shirt to emphasize. The other girl had longer sandy blonde hair, and was also gifted with a body that she had every right to be proud of, which included a terrific figure and nice-sized breasts like her friend. The blonde girl was wearing one of those button-down shirts with only a few large buttons rather than a long row of small ones, and it was slightly low cut to provide a hint of cleavage, which was very likely intentional on her part to make it clear that she is proud of the amazing body that nature granted her (and she had every reason to be). I didn't want to make it too obvious that I was visually admiring these girls, either to them or to anyone else in the theater, so I only glanced back at them a few times, and quickly at that, but I did get to see them clearly and they were proof to me that there is indeed a heaven, and it can be found here on Earth. And then, after the theater, I saw a few more pretty AGs at the restaurant me and Anna dined at, who were sitting a few rows away from us, but I didn't get as good a look at them as I did the two girls I admired in the theater. The point is, as happy as my seeing those AGs made me (especially the two in the theater who stood so close to me in line at the concession stand), it also reminded me of something I all too frequently complain about...I'm getting old :( I am still far from elderly, and I haven't even reached true middle age yet, and I look remarkably young for my age (despite being only average in looks) but with each passing year, I am getting closer to that physical phase of my life. I am now effectively shut out of the separate world where AGs inhabit, and I can only see them fleetingly during the occasions I go to the ever decreasing number of public places that adults and adolescents who are not considered legal adults congregate to in equal numbers. I am reminded that I can no longer be part of their social world, that many would frown on it if I attempted to befriend them or hang out with them, and dating them and sharing more intimate moments with these beautiful and amazing individuals are totally out of the question. Yes, I do find younger women of legal age to be attractive and often quite beautiful, and it's these younger women of legal age that I frequently seek out as romantic partners, but when I look at them and then look at younger AGs in the age range of the two girls I admired at the theater (and the few I admired more distantly at the restaurant), there is still no comparison whatsoever when it comes to sheer beauty both outside and on the inside. Just seeing those girls enjoy their lives with an energy that I only wish most adults retained makes it crystal clear to me what it is about their emotional and social qualities that I admire every bit as much as their unmatchable physical beauty. It greatly saddens me that if I attended a dance for teens in that age group, I could only do so as a chaparone, someone who could observe the world that these girls inhabit and which I left behind a long time ago, but never actually enter into it as a participant, as someone who could actually dance with these girls and hold their beautiful bodies close to me and bask in the great energy that is evident in their personalities, and as a result, the mere visual admiration I could do in the role of a chaparone, while making me smile while admiring those girls fairly up close, would still sadden me once I realized their world is off-limits to a guy my age in a more direct manner, and that I would never be able to interact with them as a peer any longer, even though I long to do so to the very core of my being. Though I value the civil rights I have as a legal adult as being precious beyond compare, I wish I could have a foot in the door of both the world of teens and the world of adults as both are presently defined in society, and go back and forth from one to the other at will, but the world of teens is the one where I truly consider "home" on the inside. And as the old saying goes, "You can't go home again." Never again. And though I fight very strongly to establish civil rights for young people and to (among many other things) end the severe age segregation that exists in the world today, I fully realize that I will very likely not live to see the full establishment of this more enlightened world where AGs are allowed into what we today call "the adult world" and grace it with their extraordinary beauty, personality, energy, and creativity. The world of adults can only benefit from the inclusion of such individuals as these AGs. As I reach each birthday of mine, I realize that...I am just getting older and older, and increasingly more distant from the world I long to be a part of at will, a world which is where I truly belong. And this realization makes me sad, and it's one of the reasons that as much as I enjoy any chance I get to visually admire the girls of the age group that I consider to be Mother Nature's most incredible creation, doing so comes at the price of the extreme meloncholy that I feel afterwards when I realize...I can't go home again :( *sigh* Thank you for listening, guys.