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Christmas Denied

Posted by 28 on 2008-December-31 15:43:11 EST, Wednesday
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Hi All,

As this is the pretty much the end to the holiday season, I thought I'd share a few thoughts, with a little metaphoric parable, on one ironic aspect of being a Child Lover.

I once said to Balancer (Someone who used to post here, whose thoughts and writings I respected very much) that we were like a child at Christmas, who had to watch everyone open up their gifts, but was not allowed to open his(or hers). When others exhibit their emotional needs they are given support. When we do it, we risk being chastised, marginalized, and even imprisoned. The child inside of us, not only can't open his gift, but he must even deny having it. If we suffer in silence, we are left alone. If we ask permission to open our gift and play with it, just like all the other kids, then we are punished severely. We are not even allowed to speak or declare our existence.

But, if, like that poor child who watches everyone else play, when no one is looking, we tear open a little corner of the wrapping paper and peek inside, we are scolded, humiliated, and locked up. Is it any wonder that some become cynical, desperate, and even depraved? I am constantly amazed that so many of us grew up to be the caring, decent people that I have met on this board. If the "survivors" of sexual abuse think their lives were made difficult, they should consider the child whose inner self was denied and excoriated and who grew up unable to find a suitable way to live an honest, contented life.

The general ignorance about pedophilia, along with the inability of those who are just discovering that they are attracted to children to find emotional support within the mainstream culture, are two primary reasons why child abuse takes place. If people really want to prevent child abuse, perhaps they should allow the child lover to become part of the family and open the gift he was given by his creator. I'm sure he'd prove that he can play well with others and that he is a caring, sharing, contributing member of society.

28 - Who wishes everyone here a Happy New Year. Please remember, you are NOT alone.

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