Girls are the least of their worries.

How about all those hemp-clad patchouli-wearing hippies? They'll have to wade through an army of hippies if they want to take instruments away from girls. "We know very clearly that there's a range of consequences for a female touching a didgeridoo. Infertility would be the start of it, ranging to other consequences," he said. "I won't even let my daughter touch one." Damn, not only is it disrespectful of Native religious practice, but teaching girls to play this instrument constitutes "dispensing birth-control to minors." "Why no Mom, I'm not sexually active. But can I have a Didgeridoo for my birthday?" I'm waiting for the lab results to come back on the efficacy of prophylaxis by Didgeridoo. Dante