Re: Hard decisions in parenting

Last night, her father visits and tells me that if my middle daughters friend is going to be at the 'party', then Penelope will not be allowed to spend the prearranged weekend with us.

Well... if it was an ultimatum as you describe, then it sounds uncomfortably close to blackmailing... Otoh, with what you explained later, I'd probably have done the same or almost...

So I did what I felt I had to. I informed my middle daughter that she cannot have her best friend over. She is not angry at her younger sister or Penelope (she does know the problems all to well), but it did upset her. She will have half a dozen other friends over.

I guess what I feel bad for is this other girl. She will be missing out on this event when all her other friends will be attending because of my decision. We all must lie in the beds we make, but should such punishment be carried out to girls so young?

Well...

I really understand why a parent would want that girl away from their daughter, certainly...

Otoh, it's not such an easy call - if you never give that girl any trust again, how is she supposed to show that she can change???

Hmmm...

Yeah, hard decisions...

Take them two (just your daughter and her friend) to the movies, or for a pizza, or something, once, in compensation???