Hard decisions in parenting

Tonite my middle daughter is hosting a party. Yay for me!

At 13 most of the girls are too old for my liking, but some of them still hold on to that cuteness from their younger years that drive me wild. But enough about me!!

Last night we had an issue. And I made the only decision I could.

One of my daughter's friends has caused problems from the first moment they met. She is a trouble maker, gets into trouble, is a bully...etc. Yet she is my daughter's supposedly best friend. I never assume that I can tell my girls who they can and can't be friends with, so I have never said they can't see each other (I think that is stupid of parents to enforce!). And I think that perhaps my daughters influence on this girl will be positive and help her turn a better page.

Well the problem lies in Penelope. She is over EVERY day, and is pretty much a member of the family. Remember she is the best friend of my youngest daughter (well...aside from the long lost Emma), and plans were made for her to spend the weekend with us (again). There is a lot to her story, her family and why she lives with us on weekends, but telling all that would be giving too much info. But I will say she is horrendous for her flirting with me!! but I love it!

Last night, her father visits and tells me that if my middle daughters friend is going to be at the 'party', then Penelope will not be allowed to spend the prearranged weekend with us. And I understand. Some nasty events occurred that were instigated by said friend that got all 4 girls into loads of trouble, and this girl is just a bad influence.

So I did what I felt I had to. I informed my middle daughter that she cannot have her best friend over. She is not angry at her younger sister or Penelope (she does know the problems all to well), but it did upset her. She will have half a dozen other friends over.

I guess what I feel bad for is this other girl. She will be missing out on this event when all her other friends will be attending because of my decision. We all must lie in the beds we make, but should such punishment be carried out to girls so young?

To expand on the 'incident'....it involved the severe bullying of a 5th girl, younger than all of them, that included references to this little girls made up extreme promiscuity....It was bad and graphic. My girls were grounded for months and lost all pc/computer privledges, I talked to the parents of the girl that is in question and they just said, sorry, took her home and never heard from any of them till now. (last year).