what impresses me is your apparently unshakeable faith in the essential good intentions of the system (this based on advice i've seen you offer others) in the face of all the abuses you've suffered...

to my mind you're the quintessential saboteur, in the original sense of the word - the wooden clog in the machinery, the mistake that won't go away, the little engine that could - and eventually will - set the system to rights.

to me it seems that the system is either going to have to quit fighting you, and play straight, or tie itself in knots.

they made a big mistake, taking you on - how long before they realise this?