Eeyore,

You know I have a lot of affection for you my friend. Thank you for the thoughtful comments. I thought I might engage a conversation here, mulling over in my head some things you said.

> be sure to distinguish between what is really intended
> to scare you, and what only appears to be such

Thank you for that thought. It impacted me and I’m at a loss for words or thoughts.

> Know that some who might claim to be
> on your side will give you bad advice

I am very blessed for my relationship with my father. I trust his advice.

> Read some inspiring books about people who
> overcame immense hardships and prevailed

Thank you. I re-read Art Spiegelman’s “Maus” recently, but that’s a short read. I suppose I should quit reading books about Caesar soon.

> As for getting spit on, that itself should inspire you.

Blind hatred in the eyes of others, directed at me, is hard to take. Thankfully it is infrequent; most people are much better racists than to wave it around openly.

> Protect your inner peace and stay strong.

I have carried the idea most of my life of “sanctuary” -- that place which is safe. I sorely miss sanctuary today. I have little inner peace. My health is damaged from poor diet and smoking too heavily. Geez, how’d we get into our thirties? It happened so fast. That inner peace comes only in small stretches of time -- before a shower, in the truck going to work. I guess work is balancing for me; I pretty much leave my problems at the door when I go on the clock. Thank God for a reprieve~

> Tired as you may feel, the worst was already done to you.

Thank you.

> Inner peace, sharp mind, grip on reality

I believe my mind has stayed sharp -- I think my body started rejecting food in an instinct to stay alert. Grip on reality~ I sure wish there were reference points, to place my map against and check.

Love,

your friend.